Conspiracy Theory: Does A Body Good
TIME TRAVEL: Is It Possible?

HOME

Olympic Omnipotence
Lord of the Oddities
OOPS, I CAN'T SING
The Cult of Religion
Forgotten Love Letter
The World's Richest Man
THE BUSH PAGE!!
Threat Construction
The People's Position
Nuclear War
TIME TRAVEL: Is It Possible?
FILE SHARING: can it be stopped?
Drugs ain't that bad?
SCHOOL CONSPIRACIES
The Myth of the Rubix Cube
The Glowing Box
World Trade Calamity
USAMA BIG EGO

nuke3.gif

The answer to that age-old question is yes; time travel is very possible. Many people would like to believe otherwise, simply because those in power tell them so. They insist on ignoring the cold, hard, facts in favor of rhetoric and propaganda, and the government denies it completely. People would rather learn about the lives and addictions of the cast of "Friends" than about what is possible in our world. The staff at Conspiracy Theory can prove it, or get carpal tunnel from trying.

A. CURRENT TECHNOLOGY MAKES TIME TRAVEL A POSSIBILITY
In an age where passenger jets can break the sound barrier, along with a few ground-traveling machines, wouldn't you think that the technology to travel faster than the speed of light would exist? In this time that we can split the very atom to discover it's secrets, and do bullet time in kung fu movies, isn't anything possible? People used to denounce those that said man could fly faster than the speed of sound with nothing more than his brain to guide him and his ingenuity to create the necessary tools. Chuck Yeager and his famous X-1 did it nearly half a century ago, and we have made giant leaps in technology since. If the men and women of the United States could design something as incredible as the X-1 with just their pencils, slide rules, and genius, we say it should be easy to fly faster than the speed of light, and thus travel through time. In this world where we have nuclear power and weapons, plus whoop-ass movie specialy effects, we can do anything. In this world where the Blackbird and Concorde have made the speed of sound insignificant, the only thing preventing time travel is a lack of will in Washington.

B. UFOs and AREA 51
Supposedly, the United States does have working "UFO" technology; otherwise they would probably let you see inside their maximum-security areas. In fact, they would probably be having tours. Who wouldn't pay to see inside Area 51? It would be a really quick way to pay off a chunk of that national debt. With the UFO's advanced technology and science, there should be clues to help us make quantum leaps towards breaking the light barrier. How else did they get all the way here from Xlckgiagoehfghsdifh IV?

C. A QUICK PHYSICS LESSON
Time is relative, and for it to continue in the same cycle the present must overlap the past. All we have to do is break the barrier at the points that overlap, and we can go anywhere, anytime, we want.

D. Time travel is possible, just not feasible.

Galaxy

Why We Don't Use The Technology.....

1. Transporting a living body through time is virtually impossible, because the speeds necessary to break the time barrier would turn you into chunky salsa, messy. The Conspiracy Theory janitorial staff gives a definite "no" to doing volunteer clean-up work on that project. Hell, they won't even clean the bathrooms.

2. The carrying of a harmless mutated virusthrough time could prove deadly to past civilizations, causing catastrophic plagues that would wipe out most of the world's populations, destroying everything the future holds. Then the future would never happen and you would never have been born to bring the virus back to kill everyone. Do the paradoxes give you a headache too? Asprin anyone?

3. Problems with co-existence would occur. You may travel back in time to the exact spot where a rock is, thus being fused together in a very unstable portal. That would be really hard on the body.

4. Technology prohibits successful retrieval. You'd be stuck in the past. What if you went back to before they had TV? Wouldn't that suck?

5. There is the possibility that rupturing the layers of time itself may be enough to create a black hole that would destroy the earth, and possibly the entire universe too. That's even worse than getting squashed into salsa. Very not zesty.

6. The possibility of going back in time and accidentally becoming your own mother or father, or even far back ancestor is just scary. That's something like extreme incest combined with a time machine and it's just wrong.

timemc_3.jpg

End. Or Beginning. Whatever.